Posted on January 12, 2023 in Divorce Over 50

Even when a relationship is unhappy or abusive, people often stay together for many years. After decades in a marriage with someone you know so well, the prospect of getting divorced can be liberating - and terrifying. The financial aspect of divorce later in life rightfully gets attention, but the emotional aspect of a so-called “gray divorce” can be equally difficult to process and overcome. However, it is possible - and experts have the advice to help you get through it.

How Can I Get Through Divorce Later in Life?

Although the overall divorce rate remains high, this is surprisingly mostly attributable to adults who are getting divorced later in life, making it all the more important to understand strategies for overcoming the stress of separating from a long-term partner. Experts suggest the following:

• Build a community - One of the reasons people stay divorced is to combat feelings of loneliness, especially later in life. But research suggests that unhappy marriages can be even more damaging than the loneliness of divorce - and, after all, divorce does not have to necessarily be lonely. But building a community takes intention and effort, so experts suggest starting early by seeking connections with like-minded people who share your values. Churches, clubs, and volunteer organizations are all great ways to do this.

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 Posted on December 29, 2022 in Asset Division

As Illinois is an equitable division state, divorcing spouses do not necessarily need to divide their assets and debts in a 50-50 equal split. When it comes to asset division, Illinois couples are encouraged to craft a divorce settlement that is equitable for both parties. Equitable does not inherently mean equal. An equitable division of assets is one that is fair and representative of the interests of both spouses.

While an equitable division of assets between spouses can be structured as a 50-50 split of a marital estate’s value, such an agreement does not have to be structured in this way. Carefully considering what equitable means in the context of your unique relationship will help your attorney to secure a favorable asset division settlement as efficiently and effectively as possible.

The Bottom Line

If you are an older adult living in Illinois and you and your spouse have decided to divorce, you have a number of considerations to ponder when crafting the terms of an equitable asset division agreement. If it is apparent that you and your spouse will not be able to work through any fundamental differences without judicial intervention, you will want to develop the strongest possible arguments in pursuit of a favorable judgment. In either scenario, working with a skilled family law attorney can help to ensure that you receive your fair share of your marital estate.

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 Posted on December 13, 2022 in Adult Children and Divorce

Many parents of young children stay together despite serious relationship difficulties because they are worried about how getting a divorce could affect their children. After all, endless studies warn of the potentially negative impact of divorce on children. But children do eventually grow, and couples who are still married once their youngest child finally leaves the nest are faced with the question of what to do next.

While divorce may unquestionably be the best decision, most couples still have worries about what their divorce will mean for their adult children. Knowing what the experts have to say about the issues can help, as can taking a mindful approach that balances the children’s needs with the parents’ needs.

Experts Say Your Children Are Still Your Children

One major difference between adult children and minor children is that most parents of minor children know that exposing the children to the parents’ interpersonal conflict is bad for the children’s mental health. Adult children, however, are often neglected in this regard and parents may inadvertently pressure their children into taking a "side" by oversharing their relationship problems. While your children will likely still have many questions about why you are getting divorced, and probably will have at least some of the maturity required to understand why adult relationships end, they still deserve to be protected from the pressure of choosing one parent or the other. Keep the details mostly to yourself.

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 Posted on November 16, 2022 in Divorce Over 50

Some marriages end because the spouses fall out of love or simply drift apart. Other marriages end due to marital misconduct. In our last blog, we discussed how to divorce an abusive spouse. This blog will discuss how cheating or infidelity can impact a gray divorce case in Illinois.

Divorce Grounds in Illinois

State laws change frequently. In 2016, Illinois became a no-fault divorce state. Prior to 2016, there were fault-based and no-fault grounds for divorce in Illinois. Fault-based grounds included issues like abandonment, cruelty, and infidelity. However, Illinois now only has one ground for divorce: irreconcilable differences. In a no-fault divorce, the court does not assign blame to either spouse. The court simply dissolves the marriage on the grounds that the differences between the spouses are irreconcilable and they cannot be reasonably expected to work things out. So, a cheating spouse does not affect the grounds for divorce. However, it may influence other aspects of divorce.

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 Posted on November 11, 2022 in Divorce Over 50

When we think about domestic violence, a couple in their 20s or 30s may come to mind. However, statistics show that, sadly, domestic violence is common in older couples as well. People in an abusive marriage may be less likely to leave the relationship once they are past a certain age. They may worry about how to make ends meet financially without their spouse – especially if they have been a homemaker or stay-at-home parent for many years. Older spouses may also hesitate to leave an abusive marriage because they fear retaliation or are too ashamed to get help.

If you are interested in divorcing a spouse who has abused you, threatened you, harassed you, financially exploited you, or otherwise mistreated you, you are not alone and there are resources available to help you end the marriage.

Emergency Protection Orders in Illinois

In Illinois, emergency orders of protection (EOPs) are granted to individuals who are at risk of abuse or injury at the hands of a romantic partner, family member, or household member. These orders are available on an emergency “per se” basis. If you get an EOP, your spouse does not have to be present. The court will grant the protection order based on your testimony alone.

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 Posted on October 18, 2022 in Health Issues and Divorce

Approximately three percent of individuals aged 70-74 years old suffer from Alzheimer's Disease, dementia, and other illnesses that cause cognitive decline. For adults aged 85-89 years old, the prevalence of dementia is approximately 22 percent. However, the disease can strike people in their 50s and 60s in rare cases as well. Anyone who knows someone with dementia knows the toll it takes on both the sufferer and the sufferer's family.

Divorcing someone with dementia or Alzheimer's Disease can be extremely complicated both legally and emotionally. The cognitive decline can make it difficult for the person with dementia or Alzheimer's to understand what is happening, which can lead to anxiety and confusion. Comprehension issues can also raise legal questions about the dementia sufferer's ability to make decisions during the divorce process. If you are considering divorcing someone with dementia or Alzheimer's, working with an experienced divorce lawyer is imperative.

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 Posted on October 04, 2022 in Adult Children and Divorce

If you are over age 50 and getting divorced, this will inevitably change your family dynamics. While some divorce cases are more contentious than others, few are completely devoid of any family drama. Sadly, it is sometimes the youngest family members that get caught up in this drama.

Grandparents getting divorced in Illinois should be aware of their rights with regard to seeing their grandchildren - especially if the grandchild's parents are less than cooperative.

When Grandchildren Get Caught in the Middle of Divorce-Related Bitterness

Consider the following scenario: After many years in an unfulfilling marriage, a woman in her 60s decides to divorce her husband. The woman's adult son is infuriated with her for "breaking up the family." He decides to prevent his own children, her grandchildren, from visiting her. Before the divorce, the grandmother and her grandchildren were close, and they are all devastated by this turn of events.

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 Posted on September 26, 2022 in Retirement

The term "gray divorce" refers to a divorce in which spouses are over age fifty. In the last few decades, gray divorce rates have skyrocketed. More and more people are deciding to leave unhappy marriages later in life.

Finances are a central concern in most gray divorce cases. Spouses want to know that they will have the financial resources needed to live independently. The question of money becomes an even more immediate concern if spouses are retired or close to retirement.

Spousal maintenance, called alimony in other states, may be awarded to a lesser-earning spouse in a gray divorce. Whether you are the payer or recipient of spousal maintenance, it is crucial that you understand your obligations and rights. You should also be aware of how spousal maintenance can affect your retirement plans.

Alimony in Illinois Divorce Cases

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 Posted on September 19, 2022 in Retirement

For many people, raising children is their ultimate purpose in life. They sacrifice career advancement in order to care for their children and maintain the family home. While being a stay-at-home parent can be deeply rewarding for parents and children, it also puts a parent in a vulnerable position during a divorce.

Social security retirement benefits are based on how much a person paid into the social security system during their career. Individuals who spend their 20s, 30s, and 40s raising children or grandchildren may not qualify for social security benefits based on their own work record.

If you are divorcing after many years as a stay-at-home parent, you should discuss your social security options with your divorce attorney. You may be able to receive benefits based on your spouse's work record.

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 Posted on August 30, 2022 in Divorce Over 50

The term "gray divorce" is used to describe a divorce case involving spouses over age 50. Because they have lived longer, older spouses often have more complex financial concerns to contend with during divorce than younger couples. Understandably, many people divorcing in their 50s and 60s worry about how the divorce will affect their retirement plans, housing, investments, and overall financial future. There are also deep-seated emotional and personal factors associated with a gray divorce. 

If you are over age 50 and plan to divorce, proceed with caution and avoid the most common gray divorce mistakes.

Mistake 1: Failing to Plan for the Future

If you've been married for 10, 20, or even 30 plus years, it is probably hard to imagine life without your spouse. But divorce at any age requires you to think about your future and plan accordingly. This is especially true if you are nearing retirement age. You need to take into account how divorce will affect your retirement savings and benefits, as well as your overall financial picture.

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